I’m writing Ask to make a positive impact on readers. A collateral benefit is that the research has been so eye-opening it’s heightened my personal awareness of how I can “be better.”
Whenever I speak, I ask the audience this question: Have you ever said something you thought was really interesting to someone and they stopped, looked into your eyes and said: Tell me more about that?
Rarely does a hand go up, which is a sad commentary. But it gets even more interesting when someone shares an experience where that did happen. When I ask them to elaborate, they typically say something like: That’s my best friend. She always makes me feel like I’m very special by showing a genuine interest in me.
I then inquire: How do you feel about that person? Invariably, the response is: I love her.
Then I ask this: What if, instead of everyone else who’s here, it was just you and those with whom you interact? And when I asked if anyone had that experience, every hand went up and they all said you were that person? And when I asked all those people how they felt about you, they all said: We love her?
That exercise brings home the point. That’s the person you (and I) want to be.
It’s a worthy goal that underlies Ask.